Society for Technical Communication—Israel Chapter

Frank Taylor

The Reading

I was told that last year's speech was far too long - so I've prepared something just a little shorter, by way of a spiritual reading.

Today's reading comes from the book of Conventions, Version 2005, Chapter 1, Getting Started.

This page has been intentionally left blank - oops, sorry, that was the first even page.

And he rose early in the morning of the 2nd day, even before the sun rose and saddled his ass.

He didn't give the ass provender, as he had ordered a Glatt meal for him.

And he journeyed northwards towards the mountain of Carmel, and happened upon the Inn of Dan.

And his eyes beheld pandemonium in the entrance to the Inn, 'cos he and the volunteers had not completed their holy tasks the night before, and the vendors, being Israeli, had left everything to the last minute.

And the elite of the Children of Israel came in their hoards (they also took their own horses, or used public transport).

And each brought their confirmation of having paid for this festive gathering, and they gathered in the great assembly hall of the inn.

And he stood there before the people and lifted up his eyes and did verily behold a multitude - a mixed multitude - a VERY mixed multitude.

And a voice from above commanded him to bid the people to rise.

And he was sore afraid, and he asked of the voice, "what if they don't rise?"

And the voice said, "Say it in bold italics and they will verily rise".

And he not only said it in bold italics, but did also underline his words.

And the voice said, "You will surely be punished. For you did not READ THE ---- MANUAL and did not follow the procedures as I commanded you. For you shall suffer the lunch and get the ache of the gut and will not get a discount for next year."

And they verily rose at his bidding, even all of them, even the non-members of the tribe of STC, yea, even the single international member who elected not to join the local chapter.

And he put his hand inside his robe as he was commanded, even unto his bosom and did take out his communication device, and they ALL did put their hand into their cloaks, even unto their bosoms (or wherever the stored the device).

And he switched off this awful device, and they all did the same.

And he bade them to sit down and they did sit.

And he lowered his eyes, as he could not hold them up for very much longer and bade the assembly to enjoy the day's proceedings.

Opening Remarks

For the Technical Communication community, this year has seen the spectrum of emotions. We suffered the untimely passing of David Woliki, whose name we intend to perpetuate by holding an annual Ideas Market.

On a brighter note, we welcome Naomi twin writers to the clan as well as Lisa's son, and if I have admitted any other new arrivals and aspiring communicators, I apologize.

This year's convention has set a record. It's the third one of its kind and has attracted over 250 registrants. I owe a special thank you to our AC and A-Team who have worked tirelessly to make this happening possible. Thank you for coming, enjoy yourselves - and just think, without you, we'd have nothing to do!